Wednesday, October 2, 2013

10 Ways to Be Intimate With A Woman Who Loves Sex

Assuming that a woman wants to have sex with anyone who may offer just because she's sexual or it is known that she enjoys sex, is a pretty lousy assumption. Here's why just throwing out a "Hey, want to screw? You like to have sex, right?" (or some equally smooth derivation of that sentiment) is a bad idea:

If a person REALLY likes wine, are you going to offer them a $5 bottle of white zinfandel? NO! Because if someone really likes something, they are probably aware of the "good stuff" and don't really have much of a taste for the low quality stuff anymore.

Same with chocolate... once you get to a point of love and appreciation for something that is pleasurable to the senses... you're in it for the experience, not just a fix.

That considered, here's how to get into the glorious space of intimacy with a very sexual woman.

1. Become masterful in your creation of anticipation. Do not ever forget that a woman's largest sexual organ is her brain. If you want to turn on a sexual woman, don't miss the opportunity to grant her what she wants most... to feel the slow burning of desire carefully crafted by a skillful conversation, looks, touches... all of it. It's not luck, it's art. It's play. It's amazing. But most importantly, it shows how responsive you are to her thoughts. It shows how you can read what stimulates her. It allows her to figure out if you're worth it.

2. Consent, consent, consent.  Body language must be read and followed. Having a conversation about sex, boundaries, likes, dislikes is really a stellar idea if you want to really maximize your potential for sexual awesomeness. It doesn't need to be done directly before sex, but having that conversation at some point can only be helpful and create a more fulfilling opportunity should it happen to arise. Her trusting you to give her what she wants and her desire to give you want you want largely derives from the consensual understanding of how you treat each other. That begins with your verbal and nonverbal conversation.

3. You are not likely needed for her to have an incredibly sensational orgasm. She can probably do that beautifully on her own. You need to offer something novel into her experience. Make her want to know what sort of magic can be created when the two of you connect. Be someone with whom she desires to have in her world.

4. Acknowledge and protect her boundaries. If she doesn't trust you with her boundaries, there's an undertone of self-protection that isn't helpful for trying to let go and fully indulging in the sexual experience with you. And more than likely, you won't want to miss out on everything she's got to offer... so create the safe space for her to be all she can be.

5. Do not judge her for her lack of inhibition. She will respect your boundaries if you disclose them. If her mind freely wanders and she asks for something crazy and off the wall in the heat of things, don't judge it. Roll with it. If it doesn't cross your boundaries and you're feeling adventurous, try it. If not, just move on to something else that sounds delicious for both of you.

6. Be sensual. See her. Look at her with eyes that appreciate her uniqueness and at the same time want to devour her. Feel her. Don't rush past the way her skin feels to your fingertips and lips. Smell and taste her. Enjoy that amazing chemistry that is created by a sexually aroused woman. Hear her. Listen to her breath. Live for the sounds she makes when she's coming.

7. Be patient. Be sincere. Be inventive. No routines, please. When she gets started, she doesn't want this to progress in a predictive, linear path. Be bold, change paces, change activities, surprise her. Let your experience end somewhere completely unexpected. And let the next experience start somewhere equally unexpected! Staying in the moment is part of that incredible connection you can feel. Changing up "the moments" keeps the mind more active and attentive to what is happening instead of "oh, and this is what's next in his routine... i could use a glass of wine right now".

8. It's not the end of the world if you don't have a rock hard cock. In fact, some amazing sex can be had with women and men who can't get erections at all. So, let go of your hard-on-ego and show her you're more than that. Think of it as a chance for uncharted territory in the bedroom. Hell, take it on as a challenge regardless of if you have an erection or not... see what interesting new things you may discover.

9. She knows that sex is supposed to feel good. She's not likely to "grin and bear it" if something is really not working for her and she doesn't expect you to either. Make a promise that the shared energy of bliss is much more important than any act that might be done. There are 8,000 fun things to try, don't take it as an ego-blow if one of them isn't working for one of you at some point.

10. Don't expect her to take care of your ego. Understand that every initiation attempt you make does not necessarily need to lead to sex.  Allow her the freedom to prefer to talk (or have that fabulous glass of wine) without feeling rejected. Giving her the space to say "no" without feeling like she's hurting your feelings also gives her the space to really say YES! YES! YES! when she wants to.

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